new attempt at the query

Small town coroner Evie Foster has a big watery problem. After investigating the mysterious death of an elderly man, she became pregnant, but this will be no ordinary child. The father was the man in the lake, and this child will be able to control not only water, but the emotions of every person he comes into contact with, including Evie’s. Now she must choose sides between the sexy man in the lake, who could help her raise and control this child, or the old woman in the rain, who could take the problem away and leave her to live a normal life. But as she finds out more about these creatures, she starts to wonder if one or both of them was responsible for the old man’s death, and what will happen to her if she gives either of them the child they each so desperately want.

My friend Ann played with it a bit and came up with this:
While investigating a mysterious death, small town coroner Evie Foster had a strange encounter with a man in a lake. Now she’s pregnant with a child that will have abilities beyond her imagination and control. Should she trust the enigmatic father who promises to help raise the child, or the old woman in the rain who offers her a chance for a normal life? Unraveling the truth behind the murder may hold the key to her future – and to the child everyone so desperately wants.

This feels more precise, but I'm still running into a problem. Little Fish has 3 main characters, but in a single paragraph query you only have enough to stick in one, otherwise you end up with too little about too much. This one is Evie's perspective, but as Pat (http://shadows-on-the-wall.blogspot.com/) keeps pointing out, most of the investigation is coming from Mack, who's been in love with Evie since they were kids. Then there's Mrs. Packard, whose husband was a mythology teacher killed because he found out too much and tried to control one of them (not the murder investigation they're currently on - that was 8 years prior, open and shut because the killer shot himself well before questions of motive could come out). His library is where most of the research happens. I'm thinking the main storyline revolves around either Evie or Mack, but between the two, I need to figure out whose story this is.